Scribefire

New application for blogging.....yay!!

Welcome Baby Vegan

Okay, so it has been 4 weeks since our little grandson was born and it has taken me this long to put my thoughts out there. Firstly let me say that my daughter is an amazing young women, something I have always known however nothing could prepare me for the events that have begun to unfold in our family with the birth of this sweet little soul. As you know my daughter and son in law live overseas and it has been very hard to be away from them at such a turning point in their lives and even harder to leave them behind when we returned from our trip to see them when our grandson was born. Having said that I have never seen two people more committed to the responsibility of parenting their little mister and the ease and comfort that they convey, making it possible to leave them for now. They planned from the beginning for a home birth with the support and care of a midwife, however it was not to be and my daughter required admission to hospital and a c-section to bring her little man into this world, but she got through it like a champion and her inner strength is awesome. Watching her with her little bundle, day by day exploring and learning and understanding him brings me to my knees. My son in law has also been incredible through all of this, clearly consumed by his love for my daughter and their beautiful son, caring for them any way he can, he is my hero. As parents there is no greater reward then to see your children grow into thoughtful, caring adults that put back as much as they take out of the world and she is exactly that. As for my grandson, he is so special, and sweet and loved. Looking at him at the end of my day always brings a smile to my face. I can't see enough of him and we are truly blessed. Welcome Aodhan

Love Nanny

A new view

Phew, nothing like a cardiac stress test to shake up your thoughts. I am at an age where these things can happen and in fact I am not surprised given the old family gene pool, but I was not prepared for all of the emotional stuff that would surface. If you have read my profile you know I am a nurse and consequently have a good grip on what the possibilities are if you have cardiac pathology, that being said I wasn't prepared for the mental house cleaning I have been doing since starting this journey. I have to say that it has left me thinking clearly and that you only get one ticket and I am not wasting anymore time worrying about all the what if's in this crazy world. From here on out it is one day at a time , in fact one minute at a time taking it all in no matter what it looks like without regret. At times of stress and uncertainty there is only one certainty and that is we are alone with our thoughts and memories, so I plan to make the most of every experience no matter how small. Mostly I plan to hone my observation and listening skills, whether it is looking into the eyes of my loved ones and seeing what is really there or feeling the sun on my skin whilst in my garden, or listening to a great piece of music. I am in this experience fully immersed now and glad of it.
Bean

Strength and Support, not Sensationalism

It would be easy right now to make statements like "what kind of world are we living in" or to be reactive and make comments that stem from raw emotion. I am speaking in the context of a little girl who went missing here in Southern Ontario some 6 weeks ago on an ordinary day like any other, nothing special....with the exception of the horrible awareness that this little girl was not coming home where she belonged. Today we learn that little Tori has come to the end that we all feared most, murdered. These are horrible truths, most particularly for the parents, family and friends of Tori and the community in Woodstock where she lived, but it is not a time to make evocative statements but rather a time to show support for a family that has been forever changed. A time to show that for as horrible as these perpetrators of this crime are their are far more good people in the world. We can't bring Tori back to them, but we can bring them back to the world they must carry on in without her by offering our support and our hope for them as a family. Personally I can imagine no greater loss than that of a child, and I am thinking of them in my most earnest and heartfelt way. Be strong.

Happy Mother's Day

What a nice day, my youngest baked me an awesome cake, my son called to wish me his best from Montreal, and my first born called me from the UK to update me on her growing little "Mac" and her anticipated due date. Spring has definitely "sprung" and I for one am glad of it. My husband and I are planning a trip to Europe at the beginning of summer and I must say I am looking forward to exploring this part of the world in places like Holland and Paris with my partner of 22 years. I have yet to write about him, and it is time I did. If you look up the word steadfast in the dictionary you would find the definition: firmly loyal, constant, steady, that is my husband. Through all the years, including some hard life lessons, loss and constant change, there he is "steadfast". I have never told him this quite this way but I think it everyday. He is in a period of psychological insight right now and I want him to know that I am here too, for him as he has always been for us. Looking forward to the rest of the journey including Europe. Love you.

My heart is full

What a great week this has been, the wedding ceremony for Kevin and Lyndsay, feeling my grandson move about in his mommies tummy, to see all of my children and some of my dearest friends together. My heart is so full, this is why we are here, and I feel truly fortunate. The baby bump is rapidly reaching capacity growth, and the expecting parents are touching to watch. It is also interesting to observe the impact of this event on my other two children. I am very sad to see this come to an end and anxiously wait for my trip to Brussels in 9 weeks and counting. Love you all.

Mom
xoxox

Happy Birthday Bean xoxo

I am full of all kinds of feelings this weekend, our youngest child is about to enter her second decade and leave behind her adolescents. WOW!! While it is wonderful to watch this child grow into a young adult, eager to embrace all that the world has to offer, it is also bittersweet to see our little girl move ever closer to her life on her own. Of course you wish every happiness and at times are as eager as they are for them to have their own lives, but when you get to the last one in the proverbial nest it is emotion provoking. I know I am not the only parent in the world to experience these feelings, but that doesn't make it any easier. I can remember my pregnancy and her arrival in the world as though it were 2 seconds ago, in fact I spent some time today regaling her with her birth story(again). Emily was the sweetest little baby, light blond curly hair, and always a smile and a giggle for us, her light heart was truly infectious, in fact she has grown into my funnybone, making me laugh everyday whether I wanted to or not. This child has and is a huge source of inspiration to me and many times got me through what were otherwise horrible days or events without breaking a sweat, it is simply who she is. As parents we are truly blessed and I just want Emily to know how much she means to me. Happy Birthday Bean and welcome to your second decade. Wishing you every happiness.

Love Mom
xoxo

Another Milestone

Hi all, I know I have spoken at great length regarding my daughter's pregnancy, but there is another milestone about to occur in my life, highlighting and interesting juxtaposition. Our youngest child is about to turn 20, leaving adolescents behind, while our oldest is about to know the wonder of becoming a parent for the first time. Our littlest bean is a force to be reckoned with a culmination of astounding intellectual gifts and the love and support of older siblings. It has been an interesting journey watching this child grow, she is my funny bone and has enriched my life in so many ways. It is funny to hear her fret about turning "20". We are truly blessed parents, and she is a shining example of that, Happy Birthday little bean.

Reflection

I know you all know that my daughter is pregnant with her first child and my first grandchild, causing me to reflect on my experience of my first pregnancy with her. It is difficult to remain objective and keep my urge to inform in check. At times my heart feels like it will explode when I think about her as a newborn, all my apprehension and doubt, the "what if's in full bloom". Here's the thing .you suddenly become the "mother" of this perfect, innocent, little person with all the potential life has to offer and you start to live with the constant whisper of a thought, "how will I know what to do". I remember my first post deliver glimpse of her, peeking out over the top of a pink blanket and feeling totally overwhelmed by the sheer emotion this little button evoked in me. Over time and many experiences she has grown into the most beautiful, intelligent, interesting women that I know. The return on your emotional investment is worth everything, and I want her to know that her life is about to change in a million ways, but also open new ways of relating to the world and her own emotions that only her little bundle can bring. I guess what I really want is to say thank you to my daughter for everything she has brought to my life in ways that she will now begin to see.

Love Mom
xo

Old Friend

The daughter of a very important friend of mine recently sent some photo's to me while she was preparing a birthday video for her dad. These photo's were taken more then 30 years ago and provoked a flood of memories. I should put this story into context, the friend of whom I speak is sadly now gone from this earth and even more sadly I was not around when it happened. I spent many years involved with this family and have hundreds of beloved memories with and because of them. The reason that we went our separate ways isn't important anymore (sadly I'm not sure I really remember), what is important is that the girls found me through facebook and reached out and I am very glad that they did. I have known these girls since they were 3 and 5 and they are now young women with families of their own. It was heartbreaking to learn that they lost their mom ( she was an outstanding person in their life) and I was filled with a sense of great loss and sorrow that so much time had passed away from them but particularly the loss of the relationship with their Mom. We were great friends, one of those people who never judged and tried to look for the good in people. A very thoughtful person, on cold winter days she used to warm up the kids clothes in the dryer when they were getting ready for school. I have reflected a great deal since learning of the loss of this person and go forward everyday trying to be a better person in honor of my friendship of this woman. I am including a photo taken 30 years ago (check out the fashion), this was her wedding day and I was pregnant with my first child. Great memory...thank you Jane

Dinner with friends

We all know the experience of the "January deep freeze blues" well I have a suggestion for a temporary reprieve. My husband and I spent last evening with some great friends for a birthday dinner of one of my closest long time friends and her man. The food was great, the company real and genuine, and the creation of many funny moments evolved. I have known this fabulous woman for more then two decades and she never fails to warm me up and light up the room where ever we are. It is very easy to hunker down in the winter and avoid socializing (short days, cold nights, etc.), but take my advice and call up some special friends and get out for dinner and conversation. Last night warmed me up and has me looking forward to the spring.Thank you Mare and Joe and see you in Quebec!!

Pink,blue,pink,blue......doesn't matter we'll love you!!!!!

There is no denying that we live in an age of amazing technological advantage, but when it comes to the development of human life I say very loudly, let it be a surprise. Honestly I am sure we are few and far between that would truly care whether or not our offspring were male or female...

My daughter as I have said is expecting her first child, in fact I posted a note regarding the sex of this tiny bundle and started to refer to the bump as "bean". Well today after ultrasound #2 we have learned that the little button is actually a boy and those two parents without missing a beat welcomed the news and carried on with there day( pretty good indication of what great parents they will be). So I say when it comes to pregnancy and ultrasounds lets use them for collecting information about the health of mon and baby and leave the gender question unanswered until the babe comes into the world.

I am thrilled boy or girl and can't wait to hold this little marvel....so welcome little mister see you soon and by the way Mac is the gaelic word for son.

So.... have I told you how much I hate the cold!!!!!

Ok let's get the obvious comments out of the way, yes it's Canada, it's January and frigid air is normal for this part of the world but I am a warm temperature, sun lover. Winter always finds me buried in books, knitting, cooking and the bedcovers until the first tease of spring begins to arrive. The short days leave me sluggish and bored, however our expected grandchild gives me lots to plan for and look forward to taking my mind off some of the doldrums. We try to plan some short family weekends for outdoor sports and long dinners with friends and family which also helps. Take my advice, read that book that you keep promising to yourself or see a great movie. Get out in the snow (if I can do it you can to). Share some great food with the ones you love and before you know it sping will be here. In my next post I will share some photos of our outdoor fun.


Keep warm and stay busy.......
Bean

The baby bean

For those of you who don't know "bean"is Gaelic for woman and given that my unborn grandchild is female, like her mother and aunt I have taken to calling her the "tiny bean". What a fortunate experience to watch my daughter and her partner embrace pregnancy and parenthood. I am moved by their thoughtfulness and unselfish commitment to their growing child, and can barely contain my excitement (read sometimes out of control) when contemplating this addition to our family.

While it is difficult to be so far away from my daughter, I feel very indulged by these two, who tolerate all my squeals and natter about the tiny bean. We skype and google chat as much as possible and they keep us posted with every visit to the midwife and thoughtfully scan ultrasounds for us to share their magic.

As grandparents, aunts, and uncles we are truly blessed and I am so proud of the parents of this little one. I will keep you posted.


Nanny in waiting........

2009 year of the littlest vegan!!!!!

You just never know where life is going to take you, we can plan to a point but fate and others can often alter the course in ways we never expect. It again has been some time since I sat to put it out there and wow alot has happened. My oldest is still living in Brussels and guess what!!! she is pregnant ( read I am out of control with grandparent excitement). What a feeling to get a telephone call at work from across the ocean to hear these words, "Mom are you sitting down, I'm going to have a baby" Well the screams, tears, and love ensued. Is it hard to have my daughter so far away expecting her first baby? you bet, but at the same time I could not be happier. First and foremost it has been a great adventure for her to move to Europe and learn about herself and secondly we are quite confident that she has met someone that shares her enthusiasm for life and love. So I will go forward in this latest adventure in my new role as Nanny and try not to overstep or fragilize my beautiful daughter. We are all very excited for the newest addition to our family.

Meanwhile back on this side of the ocean the youngest opted to go to school closer to home and has stayed in the nest and is doing very well. Look out for this one world!!! I must admit it is a comfort to have my little home body around and to watch her turn into a independent thinker, she wows me daily. As for my son he is living in Ottawa and also doing well. What lucky parents we are to have such great people for children.

Sadly we lost our 6 yr. old retriever in the fall, completely out of the blue, he became ill and within a week was gone (leukemia). It has been difficult to put this behind us, and my heart is broken particularly for my husband, that dog and he were truly pals. Perhaps with time there will be a new dog in the family but for now we morn the loss of our buddy.

So here I am on Jan. 1 2009, lots has changed and will continue to change. I will try and be more committed to my blog and keep you posted.

Happy New Year!!!!!